it's not hoovering,, he's taking you hostage... He's testing you to see how much crap he can say to you before you scream "Shut up"...
You can always just turn away and get busy doing other things, it's not rude, you didn't ask to join his fan club,,, or start exchanging the child in public where the ex can't take up your time the same way...
He knows,(narcs always know) that the shallow blah blah blah is a trigger for people trying to get away from them...
He's had practice and he's really good at pretending that he;s being friendly when instead, he's holding you hostage with the "commercial" of himself..

warning

Everyone will warn us of what they'll treat us like in the first 20 minutes of a conversation... It takes practice hearing it but everyone does it...
With a narc, their warnings always seem like a joke cuz their comments will be so extreme:::
"ha ha ha, I'm looking for 3 queens not 1 princess" referring to something you say about monogamy..
"ha ha ha, all my ex's are bitches (or bastards)" see a red flag?

or they'll hide their warnings in what sounds like love talk::
"I don't want to share you with anyone." warning that they will triangulate and compete with everyone you have feelings for or attachments to..
"You're gonna break my heart" this is an angry narc who is already telling you that they are ready for a fight..
See what I mean???
BUT, covert narcs warn in their conspicuous silence on some subjects or they're "perfect" sharing little info about themselves at all,, again conspicuous silence...
And just because we've studied all the red flags and warnings about a narcissist, which all end up looking like a roadmap to understanding a narc,, remember that while their behaviors fit a syndrome or cycle,, in truth they are totally unpredictable especially if you are their target... (just my 2 cents)

Oversharing

Oversharing is a lack of boundaries,,
It tests the listener..
It's a type of mental exhibitionism of emotional insecurities..
Do you get mad at folks for not understanding you? that can be one of the consequences of oversharing..
Oversharing doesn't help people understand us better, it trains people not to ask us questions..
We talk about the narc's red flags?,, well oversharing is a red flag of a codependent...
The only way I know of to stop oversharing is to just learn to say what you mean instead of second guessing what we think someone else wants to hear.. Practice in front of the mirror; just say NO over and over... Break the old rules that said you don't know your own mind and just say "NO".

DEALING WITH THE RESENTMENTS

I think the hardest part of detoxifying from the abuse is when we need to look at the rage and resentments we end up creating in ourselves because of the abuse.... Anger during this time is totally normal and healthy,, but rage is dead ended anger,, anger that never got resolution so it built to rage and resentment..
It ends up being a very heavy weight to carry around.. it turns into things like jealousy and revenge...
As far as I know, the only way to get rid of that awful feeling is to do a big look at ourselves and learn how to name our participation..
The narc lied and lied and lied,, and at first, it hurt our vulnerability, we became shameful that we got lead into a trap of deception which complicates our ability to see ourselves without judgement..
When we can name our gullibility to the lies and deal with the (natural) anger that happens when being tricked, we learn to let go and move on from being enmeshed with an abuser..
You are love-able and you have a right to happiness and love without pain..
Repeat after me:  

"I am love-able and have a right to love and happiness."