A Definitive fMRI Test for Narcissism

wow,, this is trippy info about how a narcissist's brain works...
"Keenan explained that, "in narcissists, more brain areas are dedicated to self-deception." So when a narcissist's medial prefrontal cortex is taken offline, backup generators are in place to maintain that overblown sense of self."
Gotta read the article to find out more,, it's good..
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/comment/1059680?fbclid=IwAR0QudYeQ90kgLkY3SlKghmTPXD_Tn5NByPv0Z2hUbC8mUUKu4tetyqZnAQ#comment-1059680

THE FROG IN HOT WATER

Abuse rarely starts full force.. Abusers know that their target will leave if love bombing isn't applied at the strategic times to keep their victims believing things will either change back to the wonderfulness of their courting days, or at least be something to continue fighting for..
None of us invited the abuse, nor do we allow it to continue..
Abuse becomes socially accepted each time a victim is blamed for not second guessing the abuser correctly and staying too long..

We are not alone when we support each other..

My ex had two different ways to describe me...

My ex had two different ways to describe me... 
With other people, he praised me,, told people the most complimentary things about me,,, it used to startle me when they'd tell me,, I started crying one time because he had been so horrible for weeks to me,, and here is one of his friends going on about how much he (my ex) loved me,, naming all sorts of things I've done that I'm proud of,, that he'd just heard out of my ex's mouth days before... So while being mean and rage-ful with me at home, he'd been acting like he couldn't live without me to his friends...
............. because at home, he (angrily) described me as angry, argumentative and a bully.. claiming he couldn't work together with me because I was so confusing that my requests were crap...  
.. which I always knew he thought would piss me off cuz I'm a trained commercial/graphic artist and make killer schematic diagrams and can write out detailed instructions with all sorts of illustrative precise pictures that I draw up.. (example here) and I'm talking about when I was designing my kitchen,, which at Xmas, he gave me a book on kitchens and he said, as my present; if I designed it, he would build it (he's a handyman by trade and follows other people's instruction perfectly)
But I never did get my Xmas present and my kitchen is still a wreck.. boo hoo...
Confusion is key in abuse.. 
Writing it down, it's obvious now how praising me was his way of love-bombing the friend to make himself look like the good guy,,,, how he future faked a dream with me, stonewalled the project and then projected onto me exactly what he was doing... at the time, it was devastating

"Why do I still want him after all the abuse? I'm going crazy."

Reply:

Giant hugs.. it's really hard because of all the brainwashing that happens during abuse... because abuse is also about the love bombing or the reward, to hook us back in so they can continue to abuse us...
After breaking up with an abuser, It takes awhile to balance out and make sense of what really happened...

Abuse is a series of behaviors that illicit particular reactions in the target (we're the target).. One reaction is to end up closer to the abuser... It's something we do for protection.. The confusion becomes overwhelming and we end up believing the same person who lies to us.. we end up being hurt by the same person who claimed they loved us..

I was asked: "Is your husband a good guy?" and I answered without hesitation: "YES"
and then they asked me: "Do good guys do what he did to you?" My answer was NO...
That's when I started to see how my own confusion was clouding my understanding of what was happening to me...
 
You are love-able...
You were in an abusive relationship with someone who spent their whole life practicing hurting other people and getting away with it...
Abusers are really good at hiding the hurt and destruction they create... they steal our comfort and love-ability and brainwash us into thinking our only happiness is connected to them,, our only love is with them.. and that's all a button they install in us during the relationship.. it's a trigger button.. and for a long time after we're broken up from them, that button still gets pushed and we end up craving them..

That craving goes away as we learn more and more about abuse.. We might always wish they had been better to us,, but that's our dream and has nothing to do with the reality that they don't change.. (they might change a behavior or two for us during the relationship but that's only to set us us for punishment later)
You have a right to love without pain,, and he's proven he's not capable of sharing that with you...
I am proud of you... it's really hard to speak out and ask questions..
Thanks for sharing..


This is the 20 minute video that allowed me insight into the complexity of a DV relationship.. thank you Teal Swan..
 https://youtu.be/M_lakRMIA7Q