My
ex had two different ways to describe me...
With other people, he
praised me,, told people the most complimentary things about me,,, it
used to startle me when they'd tell me,, I started crying one time
because he had been so horrible for weeks to me,, and here is one of his
friends going on about how much he (my ex) loved me,, naming all sorts
of things I've done that I'm proud of,, that he'd just heard out of my ex's mouth days before... So while being mean and rage-ful with me at home, he'd been acting like he couldn't live without me to his friends...
.............
because at home, he (angrily) described me as angry, argumentative and a bully..
claiming he couldn't work together with me because I was so confusing that my requests were crap...
..
which I always knew he thought would piss me off cuz I'm a trained
commercial/graphic artist and make killer schematic diagrams and can
write out detailed instructions with all sorts of illustrative precise
pictures that I draw up.. (example here) and I'm talking about when I was designing my
kitchen,, which at Xmas, he gave me a book on kitchens and he said, as
my present; if I designed it, he would build it (he's a handyman by
trade and follows other people's instruction perfectly)
But I never did get my Xmas present and my kitchen is still a wreck.. boo hoo...
Confusion is key in abuse..
Writing
it down, it's obvious now how praising me was his way of love-bombing the friend to make himself look like the good guy,,,, how he future faked a dream with me,
stonewalled the project and then projected onto me exactly what he was
doing... at the time, it was devastating
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