Compliance is not consent.

Compliance is not consent..  
Coercion is brainwashing.. their covert and overt threats create a climate of fear for us to live in..  
I encourage you to give him back his responsibilities and guilt.. 
He exploited your vulnerabilities and kicked your legs out from under you..
I believe in me being responsible for my own gullibility but he's responsible for lying over and over until all my own truth got too confusing to make sense anymore..
Stress actually changes our brains.. 
Have you heard the frog's story?
If you throw a frog into a pot of hot water, it will immediately jump out again... 
But if you put the frog in cool water, they'll swim around happily...
Turn up the heat and that frog won't know when it's time to jump out and will stay in that pot until it boils.. 

That's what happens to us.. and on top of all that, we end up feeling shameful as if we we're suppose to know when that right time to jump was..
Our difference from the frog, is that when we felt the heat and said something, we got love bombed back into the relationship and thinking that the water was cool again, cuz the person who claimed to love us assured us things were ok.. (taking advantage of our vulnerability)..
You are love-able and loving and have a right and to love and happiness without pain.