What it's like to be a narcissist

Imagine not having empathy and trying to figure out what's going on with someone who's in valid anger.. if you can't empathize, it just looks like they're attacking you.. 
Or try to imagine seeing someone who's hurt but you have no idea what that means for them cuz you don't have empathy for them; it looks like they are blaming you because perception is limited by lack of empathy.
They start early in life in this cycle of self-loathing cuz as much as they blame everyone and everything else when they get older, they start in the place where everything is attacking them and reinforcing over and over that they aren't ok... 
Their projection is a defense protection learned as a child, but with no empathy, they never get to grow out of it by having insights cuz they don't have empathy..
As babies, our brains are growing and one of the first things to develop, is our sense of self.. it's when a baby recognizes themselves in the mirror.. 
The next to develop is our sense of others and if, at that time, there is abuse happening, instead of the brain developing in both areas, it over develops that "sense of self" part (they're always in defense mode because of the abuse),, and the part of the brain for seeing others (empathy) doesn't develop at all or very little..  
That's why it's a personality disorder instead of a mental illness..