Co-dependency

I am encouraging you to find out more about co-dependency because when someone believes that they can change another person by being a certain way, they are describing a client / doctor relationship or an addictive/ co-dependent relationship..
If you are with someone with NPD, you've already been picked for what your specific supply gives them..
To believe someone else needs to change is a mistake..
NPD is NOT an illness, it's a brain disorder..
Unless we also have the disorder, we can't identify with what NPD feels like so we can't tell someone with NPD how to live their life..
Living with a narcissist skews our thinking, part of their manipulation is to get us to believe that an investment in them will eventually benefit us and while we see a future shared with a loving partner, they're advertising themselves for some "future fake"..
They are not a piece of property..
Part of their disorder is their inability to see reality because they live in a fantasy world, devoid of empathy, full of obligation and created with meticulous effort through out their life, practiced on everyone who loved them.. What you met was someone portraying a solid person..
If he has NPD, feeling sorry for them and giving the excuse that they feel "bad" somehow,, is a mistake because playing the victim is their favorite game/role ,, it allows them to be irresponsible, heck, she/he's got someone else to be responsible for them..
The fact that they continually need us to tell them where the boundaries are, is proof that the manipulation works..
IF you are living with someone with NPD and you believe that they can change,, you are co-dependent.. and in for a long, exhausting and futile ride with a god/devil..